One Salty Kiss

What I’ve Learned About Happiness

Happiness

So after a week of focusing on happiness, I am learning new things about this elusive emotion. I can say the theme that has come up this past week has been:

“Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”  Ben Sweetland

I kind of thought this #31DaysOfStoke challenge would be easy. That I would just smile and have fun for 31 days. What I have found is that the song lies to us. It’s not always easy to,

“Don’t worry, Be happy.”

It’s possible, just not always easy.

In thinking that happiness truly is a choice, I posed the question on my Facebook page, “What if we can’t or don’t want to choose happiness?” One of my followers commented, “Why wouldn’t we always choose to be happy?”

I struggle with this. Of course I’d rather be smiling and have joy in my heart. But, authenticity is also important to me; being true to who I am and what I feel. If I feel disappointed, sad, angry, etc., I don’t want to feel like I have to fake it. Like I “should” just put on a happy face.

What I have decided is that, for me, the goal is to be conscious of my happiness. Not force it, but always make it the goal. Make choices and put myself in situations that will foster happiness.

I can do this by:

Surrounding myself with people who lift me up.

Giving myself permission to do things that bring me joy. 

Focusing on being true to who I am.

Following my passions and my purpose.

And when other feelings dominate my psyche; sadness, pain, etc., I need to honor them, feel them, express them, and then do my best to move on.

There are situations where this seems impossible; death of a loved one, illness, significant loss, etc. But, for the “normal” day-to-day things in life, it is important to be conscious of joy and always be working toward that goal.

The lessons in happiness I learned from week one of #DelightOnTheDaily and #31DaysOfStoke:

  1. [Tweet “Making our happiness a priority is not selfish, it’s necessary.”]
  2. When we let go of our expectations of how something should be, we leave room for joy to sneak up on us.
  3. It’s not what we see, it’s how we see it. When we can change our mindset on a situation, our feelings will follow. [Tweet “It’s not what we see, it’s how we see it.”]
  4. Today is a new day. Don’t let negativity from yesterday spill over to today.  [Tweet “Don’t let negativity from yesterday spill over to today.”]

    Today Is A New Day
    Today Is A New Day
  5. It’s easy to be happy when things are great. The challenge is to be happy when things are kinda sucky. When we’re stuck in traffic, we lose our wallet, someone disappoints us, etc.
  6. I always want to be the person who chooses to make the most of any situation. The person who lifts others up with a positive outlook rather than brings them down with a pessimistic attitude. I want to be the one who focuses on the sugar instead of dwelling on the lemons. [Tweet “I want to be the person who focuses on the sugar instead of dwelling on the lemons. “]

    Have fun
    Have fun
  7. Happiness is elusive. It is contingent upon our very human and ever-changing stream of consciousness. I have decided that yes, happiness is a choice. Sometimes I need to DECIDE to be happy instead of letting the negative chatter in my brain take me down. But, sometimes my happiness is based on other things like productivity, purpose, and the big one – feeling like I matter. When I am feeling productive, like I am living my purpose and that what I do matters, happiness comes easier. And when these things aren’t in alignment, that is when I must consciously decided to do something to bring happiness. Instead of thinking about being unhappy and wallowing in it, I must take a step toward happiness. I may not get all the way, but that one step will take me closer than had I not moved at all.
  8. Happiness can come from unexpected places. Like taking a risk and finding out, “Yes, it can be done.”
  9. For me, it is better to honor whatever feeling I am experiencing at the moment and then move toward joy. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, hurt, etc. I just don’t want to set up camp and stay there.

Life is hard sometimes. The key is finding people and activities that bring us joy and make life just a little softer.

Go to Instagram or Facebook to follow the #31DaysOfStoke and #DelightOnTheDaily

Salty Kisses,

Karen

Karen Shatafian

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8 responses to “What I’ve Learned About Happiness”

  1. I really agree with what you said in your point number nine. I finally learned if I attempt to distract myself from what I’m really feeling – – it sometimes does not end well. Sure at times the fake it till you make it works but other times I need to feel the pain so I can move through to joy.

    • I agree Carla! There definitely is a place for “fake it till ya make it.” I think with the deeper emotions, that is when we need to just “be” with those feelings so we can move on! Thank you for your comment and as always-for your support!! 🙂

  3. Great article. Happiness does indeed have a lot of nuances and comes in many forms. Thank you for sharing your lessons.

  4. I loved this post! You are so right on with all you said. There are days when I wake up in a crappy mood and talk myself right out of it. You raised some excellent points here. Sharing this!