I have been concerned that people are putting fun last on their to-do list. Some people are even feeling guilty for having fun.

Are you one of these people? I hope not.

This is why I conceptualized the #31Days Of Stoke/#Delight On The Daily two months ago. I wanted it to be a reason people focused on their happiness; a reason for them to put joy on the front burner.

I envisioned these 31 days in August as an excuse for folks to do things that make their heart soar; that make them happy. I wanted to give people permission, for a whole month, to not take life so seriously and have some fun for goodness sakes!

But, what I am finding, is that happiness is actually more complex than that. It is about more than doing fun things and being around fun people.

After two weeks of putting happiness under the microscope, it has taken on greater depth.

There are many layers to true happiness.

The outer layers are in seeing all the tiny ways we can escort joy into our daily lives. Sometimes, just by noticing and being mindful of them.

The middle folds are recognizing how many ways we sabotage our own happiness. How we get in our own way. Like saying ‘no’ when we should be saying ‘yes.’

And at the core, it is about how we consciously work toward happiness. How we make the decision in every moment, as to what emotion we want to feel.

Because happiness is a verb; it’s an action word.

[Tweet “Happiness is a verb; it’s an action word.”]

It’s not something we passively find or wait for, it’s something we go out and get.

Happiness is a skill that improves each time it’s used.

You might say I’m making it harder than it has to be; making joy complicated. But, I believe it is complicated.

There are so many external variables when it comes to our happiness. Outside events that try to steal our joy: injustice in the world; things people do or say, or don’t do or say; the critical tape that plays in our own head; things out of our control; people who don’t treat us kindly; daily frustrations; etc.

[Tweet “Our joy is constantly fighting off adversaries. It is up to us how much power we give those enemies.”]

When things are going great, and the sun is shining, it’s easy to be happy. What’s not so easy is seeing the good in spite of the dark clouds and thunder.

[Tweet “The true challenge comes when life gets hard, and we choose happiness anyway. “]

We know we are in control of our happiness when:

• We don’t let other people’s mistreatment of us win.
• We don’t choose busy over happy.
• We don’t let the awful news of the day bring us down.
• We don’t let bad things that happen consume us.
• We don’t let our back ache or knee pain have total control over our emotions.
• We don’t let our anger at what someone did override our happiness.
• We don’t let our inner critic tell us we can’t or we shouldn’t or that we don’t deserve joy.
• We don’t hold our expectations as gospel and then take a nose dive when they aren’t met.
• And we definitely don’t let bad drivers affect our mood . . . even . . . for . . . one . . . second.

It’s not easy, choosing happiness in all circumstances, but nothing easy is really worth as much, is it?

[Tweet “Nothing easy is really worth as much, is it?”]

Our happiness is magnified when we work for it.

We are in charge of our own joy . . . our stoke! We have the power and it’s our job not to relinquish that power to anyone or anything outside of ourselves.

[Tweet “We have the power over our joy and we mustn’t relinquish that power to anything outside of ourselves.”]

We all deserve to be happy!

And life is too short to choose anything but happy!

Salty Kisses,

Karen

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