A Wahine Wednesday Flashback

Surfing has led me to where I am today. I have learned so much through my surf journey and it has led me to this exact moment.

For those of you new here . . . my journey blogging began through my love of surfing. I started a blog to document a goal I set to surf every Wednesday for a year, no matter the conditions. I documented this journey though my blog Wahine Wednesdays. It was a special time in my life. I was uncovering and discovering parts of myself I didn’t even know existed.

I was rereading some of my journal entries that never made it onto the blog and I find myself missing those days. I learned so much during that journey. About surfing yes, but most importantly about life; about myself. 

It’s amazing to look at where I was at that time in my life and where I’ve come. I was in a darker place, feeling so deeply the void of my changing roles. Feeling like time was slipping, like sand through my fingertips. Feeling obsolete and trying desperately to build a life of meaning. 

I was full of questions.

Wahine Wednesdays was transformative for me. It brought me directly to this very point. It lead me to One Salty Kiss, a renewed sense of purpose, and my connection with all of you. 

I don’t claim to have all the answers now but at least I am at peace with the questioning.

Here’s a peek into where I was two years ago.

April 2013

Today’s Wednesday surf brought the sun but no waves. There was no hesitation as to IF I was going to surf, there never is on Wednesdays, it was just a matter of where.

For me, there are so many things that surfing brings out in me. The water can comfort and calm me. It can challenge and push me. It can make me feel confident and accomplished or weak and fearful. This is one of the beauties of surfing. Every day is different. I get to constantly stretch and reinvent myself. I discover more of who I am and who I want to become. 

Am I out of sync? Feeling fearful? Not focused? The ocean will challenge me on these.

Surfing is not like spin class where I can lose myself in the music and monotony of the motion. Where I fill my mind with the burdens of my day while my body is on autopilot.

Surfing requires me to leave my problems on the shore. I must be mindful. I must be present. From stepping that first foot into the water, to paddling out into the line up, to catching that first wave.

I can’t worry about the past or the future. I must only be focused on the moment at hand.

It is a life lesson as well. I must only be focused on the moment at hand.

Surfing is also about second chances. I feel excitement and anticipation as I see the next wave coming. No matter what happened on the last wave, I have a new opportunity to paddle into position, catch the wave, make the drop and get into the sweet spot. If on the wave before I was unsuccessful, that has no baring on the wave at hand. I have a clean slate. A new chance. The key is to remove from my mind any negativity from that last wave. 

Another life lesson. [Tweet “Every day, every moment is a new chance to put myself into position and get into the sweet spot.”]

I wasn’t in a great mood today. The conditions were junky (high tide, walled, onshore).

But . . . the sun was out, it was a beautiful day, I was with my friend, and we were blessed to have a pod of dolphin swim by about 5 feet from us. It’s difficult to complain about a surf day when I come this close to God.

I started thinking about an article I read in Women’s Surf Style magazine about a woman who was on a quest to surf everyday for a year. Did it make my goal of surfing 52 days in a year seem small? Did it diminish what I was setting out to do? 

After thinking about this, I don’t think so.

As I am learning, week by week, [Tweet “it is about the process, not the product. It’s not about the “what” but about the “how.” “]

And it reminds me that to compare myself to others is ridiculous. The woman in the article is living her truth and I am living mine. I am not like anyone else on this planet, I am uniquely myself, so why should I use comparison as a barometer for my success or happiness?

Comparisons make me think about the questions I face at this juncture in my life that birthed the whole Wahine Wednesdays surf challenge. The idea that I should be more productive. I should be “doing” something. Something meaningful. That I should be contributing, I am an educated woman after all. These “shoulds”  comes from a culture that says, “more, bigger, faster, better.”  A society that says, “the title behind your name and dollar signs in your bank account determine your worth.”

Comparing myself to others and a standard set by society will only bring me sadness.

Instead, I need to look at what I have done. I have raised beautiful and compassionate children. What could possibly be more important than that?

I have no sadness in this.  The sadness however comes more from the void. The space that is left now that my kids are getting older and my role as SAHM is shifting.

This void however, is leaving room for me to fill the space with something that brings me joy. Something I love. Something that brings me closer to who I am.

I continue searching for this. 

Surfing, I am sure, will do this. Surfing and writing, through Wahine Wednesdays, will be the catalyst for understanding and wholeness.

 

It brings tears to my eyes to see how this simple act, setting a silly goal to surf every Wednesday for a year, changed the trajectory of my life. How it lead me to me such joy, purpose, and incredible connections with others.

So my question for you is: Are you in a place in your life where you need a change? Are you feeling stuck or out of sync?

What one small act can you do to start the wheels in motion? What simple intention can you put into the universe to lead you to where you were destined to be?

[Tweet “What simple intention can you put into the universe to lead you to where you were destined to be?”]

I am here to join you as you find out and take that first step.

 

Salty Kisses,

Karen