Parents have endless opportunities to teach their children.

Yet, I learn from my children just as much as they learn from me.

They teach me about honesty, spontaneity, courage, compassion, and authenticity among other things.

They also teach me and about kindness.

Ten years ago, my 9-year-old son Charlie and I were headed to the mall. We got off the freeway at our exit and I quickly noticed a man sitting at the bottom of the off ramp near the stoplight. This was a popular spot for people to stand in search of money. Charlie immediately spied the man, disheveled and dirty, holding a sign reading, “Anything helps. God Bless You.”

As I came to a stop a few feet from where he was standing, I started to dig in my purse in search of my wallet. As I opened it, I noticed I only had one bill. It was a $50. Random I know. Except for a few nickles and dimes, this was the only money in my wallet. I thought for a millisecond about just giving him the $50 but doubts began flooding my mind.

Will he really buy food? Will he spend it on alcohol? Will he use it to buy drugs?

Usually when I give money to someone in need, I do so without judgment, without worrying how they will use it. I just give with an open heart.

Not this time. Maybe since it was such a significant amount, I selfishly felt less like giving. embarrassingly to say, I decided against it.

Then, my 9-year-old spoke up.

“Aren’t you going to give him some money mom? He looks hungry.”

“No honey, I only have this $50 dollar bill.” I said sheepishly.

“Well, why don’t we go make him some change?”

“Oh sweetie,” I replied, proud that he had such a giving heart. “We would have to come back after we finished our shopping and could break the bill in to smaller amounts. We’d have to get on the freeway going the other way, get off and on again and come all the way back to where he’s sitting. It would really be out of our way.”

Then, without skipping a beat my 9 year old’s response stopped me in my tracks.

“Wouldn’t you go out of your way to help someone mom?”

[Tweet “Wouldn’t you go out of your way to help someone?”]

Lesson learned.

Flash forward ten years. That 9-year-old is now a college freshman. He attends school about an hour away from home and like most teenagers, he could literally live out of his car. Keeping various articles of clothing, blankets, shoes, etc., in his trunk at all times. He’s always ready for a pick up game, a spontaneous trip somewhere, or to crash at a friend’s place.

One weekend last winter, he and a group of his friends were looking for a way to fill their Saturday night. They decided they needed some food before they began their evening. Charlie pulled up to the fast food place with a car full of teenagers.Two kids went into the restaurant while C and a few others decided to wait in the car listening to music.

As they were waiting, a man started to approach the car. The man looked to be homeless. Charlie began emptying his ashtray of all the change he had collected, ready to surrender it in totality.

As the man neared the car, my son gave him the contents of the ashtray before he had a chance to ask.

“Thank you,” said the man. “But, do you have a jacket? It is really cold and my wife and I live over near the loading dock behind the grocery store.”

Without a word, Charlie proceeded to open his trunk and hand him the contents. As usual, he had a trunk full. He began unloading the items. He gave the man a sweatshirt, three blankets, and a sleeping bag.

As he handed him the clothing and blankets, the man started to cry.

The tears rolling down his face expressed the appreciation he felt in his heart. “Thank you. God Bless You,” he kept saying.

Charlie could see the man was overwhelmed with gratitude.

When he returned home on his next college break, he told me this story with pride. He had been deeply impacted by this encounter and felt good about helping someone in need.

I thought to myself as I listened to him tell the story, “Would I have done the same? Would I have given everything to a stranger?”

I continue to learn from him.

My son has given me many reasons to feel pride over the years. Good grades, sports achievements, being a good friend and big brother. Things that are important, but not critical.

But, knowing that he approaches life with compassion, makes me more proud than any grades or awards ever could.

Salty Kisses,

Karen

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