One Salty Kiss

Choosing Courage Everyday

Courage

I keep the coin on my desk as a reminder. A reminder to be brave.

I see it everyday as I sit to write.

“Be brave,” it whispers to me.

The Serenity Prayer on one side, “To Thine Own Self Be True,” on the other, with the roman numeral II. The bronzy gold toned coin with decent weight, feels substantial in my hand as my fingertips explore it’s edges. This is no coincidence. It’s weight represents the substantial struggle of living a sober life.

The coin was my nephew’s, given to me several months ago. He is 23 and 2 years+ sober. He is one of the most courageous people I know.

He gave me the coin as a thank you. A symbol of his gratitude for helping him in his recovery. A symbol he delayed in actually taking, not because he had relapsed, but because it took him a while to believe he deserved it. A while to let it sink in that his success was real. That his courage was real.

But, it was real. He had done it. He is doing it. He is living each day with determination. With the boldness to go to work, hang out with friends, be with family; live a life a person in their 20s lives . . . sober.

Managing the ups and downs of life with the weight of addiction on your back can be a momentous challenge.

The coin is a symbol of the courage it takes every single minute to live his life sober. Every single minute he consciously chooses sobriety when it would be so easy not to. It would be much easier slip into the self-induced haze of intoxication that appears so innocent.

But. Instead. He. Chooses. Bravery.

[Tweet “Sometimes you just have to choose courage every minute of every day.”]

My nephew wanted me to have the coin because my husband and I helped him along his journey. He felt our support was important to his recovery. This is a gift I will cherish always.

I understand the courage it took for him to face his demons. Courage he had to summon from deep within because there was no other choice.

Isn’t that how courage works really? It has no choice but to appear when we are out of options.

When we are at the end of our rope, courage will always show up.

[Tweet “When we are out of options, courage will always show up.”]

When he began this journey back to himself, I know he was afraid.

Wouldn’t we all be afraid?

He was afraid of treatment. He was afraid to leave his family. He was afraid of the unknown. He was afraid to be without the security of getting high.

This young man, barely out of his teens, had no choice but to take his fear and go anyway. He had to dig deep within and wrestle his fear to the ground, tie it, gag it, and go.

So he did.

And 2+ years later, 2+ years of learning and purging and struggling and overcoming and crying and hugging and yelling and understanding, he is healing. After 2+ years of straight up gangster courage, he is thriving. He is sober. And, he still chooses courage everyday.

[Tweet “Living a sober life takes straight up gangster courage.”]

So, I keep that precious coin on my desk. To remind me to be brave.

To remind me that when I think I cannot possibly do the scary, the hard, or the risky – in fact, I can. The coin assures me, my courage will always show up.

Salty Kisses,

Karen

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Karen Shatafian

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14 responses to “Choosing Courage Everyday”

    • Yes Jennifer, so true! For those of us without addictive personalities, we will never truly understand the struggle. We can only get a glimpse by watching someone we love handle it courageously. Congratulations to your son-that is an admirable accomplishment! He and my nephew inspire me!

  5. This is awesome, Karen. What a brave nephew you have. I have a cousin who is 21 years sober (she’s now 50 yrs old). She tells me that she still thinks about drinking every single day. She has to go to business parties where she knows people will be drinking. It’s all around her. It takes a enormous courage to fight every day, good days and bad days. Your nephew is lucky to have such a great support system. Thanks for sharing such an inspirational story. And, I love the book you have laying there on the left hand side, too. 😉

    • Thank you for such a thoughtful comment Monica! My nephew, and likewise your cousin, greatly inspire me. For those of us without the addictive personality, it’s hard to truly grasp what a struggle it is. When alcohol is all around and “partying” is a normal thing for young people to do, it takes extreme determination not to succumb. Thank you for sharing!

  6. Hi Karen,

    I figured since I just analyzed the menu on your site I would read one of your posts.

    You have a great writing style! I do not have any experience with addiction, but I do have experience in being courageous. We all have fears and hardships. The ones (like your Nephew) that face it every day and still come out on top, well they rock!

    You and your husband sound like great people to help someone in a time of need.

    Can’t wait to see more,
    Chris