“Am I Really Living?”
An Interview With Sarah:
A stay at home mom to three boys, cancer survivor, and lover of books and all things vintage.
K: Let me tell you a bit about why I wanted to interview you. This topic is very personal for me. I have happily been a stay home mom for 16 years. However, I have only recently given myself permission to pursue my passions. I felt for a long time that my family’s needs should come first. Since my kids are almost adults now, my “job” is in transition. I am trying to fill the void I feel as they grow up and need me less. What has surprised me is that at first, I didn’t even know what to fill the void with. If I’m not a busy mom . . . what am I? I started this blog to explore how I, as well as others, bring joy into our lives, how we explore our purpose and passions, and how we are chasing our dreams. I am finding that after being a SAHM for so long, and focusing on my family’s needs, while trying to fulfill my desire to be a good mom, I lost sight of what my own dreams were. I needed to discover, outside of having a healthy, happy family, what is my heart’s desire?
I wanted to talk to you because I admire you as a woman and as a mom and I am curious how others are navigating this time in their lives. My goal is to see if there are any common threads. I feel it will inspire me as I traverse this time in my life and I hope that it will encourage others as well.
What do you feel like your passions are? Have you always known this?
My passions beyond raising my boys and spending time with my husband, are all things books and antiques; anything with a story. I have always loved books, and discovered my love for all things vintage when I was about 25.
Have you always been able to focus on these throughout your life? If so, how? If not, why not?
Books, yes. I shared my love of books and reading with my kids and our friends through reading to them when they were small (and even now at 12-15 and 17), my Used Book Sale that I ran at their school for years, and now my Little Free Library. As far as antiques, I had an antique shop before kids, but since then have only really purchased for our home.
What is your Little Free Library?
Our Little Free Library sits in our front yard and our neighbors love it! It’s a take a book leave a book program, and it’s been wonderful to be able to share books with our community.
Have you been a stay home mom or a working mom? how do you think this has affected your ability to follow your passions?
SAHM. I have loved every minute, but it certainly has limited my ability to embrace my passions fully.
What do you feel like your purpose is? Do your passions correlate with this?
I feel like my purpose might be to bring old things back to life. And yes, my passions align quite nicely.
How have you been able to find time for yourself while raising your kids? Do you allow yourself ‘me’ time?
To be perfectly honest, I didn’t take time for myself when the boys were little. After my first bout with cancer, I was a little better, but really when the cancer returned I realized that I might not have that long and was I really living or just living through my boys? It was a real eye opener, and I have since embraced me and me time.
That is powerful when you say, “Was I really living or just living through my boys?” Totally gives me goosebumps! That is a big reason I wanted to start this blog and send the message to people that the time is now! Today is the day to start chasing your dreams because who knows what tomorrow brings.
[Tweet “Today is the day to start chasing your dreams because who knows what tomorrow brings. “]
How has your time for yourself and your outlook about your dreams and passions changed as you’ve gotten older? As your kids have gotten older?
I think that I am finally ready to embrace Sarah, the whole package, in a way that I couldn’t before. I am ready to be someone other than Chris’s wife and Alex, Nick, and Tommy’s mom. I like me more now, and when you feel good in your skin (even when there’s too much of it), you’re ready to face the world!
[Tweet “When you feel good in your skin, you’re ready to face the world!”]
🙂 Agreed! If there is one good thing about aging, it’s in feeling so much more confident and less concerned about what others think. I love when you say, “I like me more now, and when you feel good in your skin, you’re ready to face the world!” So true.
Talk to me about guilt.
Ugh. I am getting better at letting go of guilt, but I still feel it. I feel guilty that my husband has had to go to work all these years while I have had the fun of raising our boys. I feel guilt that I want to go back to work and the boys might need me. I feel guilt that I wasn’t always the best wife and mother. I feel guilt that I might not be living to my full potential.
I think guilt is a huge thing for moms. I totally relate with feeling guilt for wanting to go back to work or do something outside of my role as mom. Something that makes my heart sing, that is all my own.
Generally, are you happy? Why or why not would you say?
I am happy. Mostly because I decided to be happy. The gift of your 40s and surviving cancer is joy. Things could be so much worse, and have been, that I am grateful for everything: more time with my boys, time spent with my supportive husband, my wonderful friends, and my passions.
I just LOVE this! I love how you say, “I am happy. Mostly because I decide to be happy.” I agree that happiness is a choice.
[Tweet “I am happy. Mostly because I decided to be happy.”]
If you could go back and do anything differently, would you? If so, what would you change?
Hindsight being 20/20, I think I’d be more in the moment but overall I’d make the same choices that led me to this moment.
I think that is great advice for young people, too. Be more in the moment. Life passes so quickly.
What do you want to be when you grow up? 😉
I’d like to own my own shop, sell things that I have lovingly restored, items that my girlfriends have made with their own hands, and of course there would be books.
What are your dreams?
I’d like to open my shop. I’d like it to be the kind of place where I can support other women and help their dreams happen, too!
It is so awesome to me that part of your dream is in encouraging other women to go after their dreams as well. You and I have that in common! 🙂
How difficult is it, if at all, to go after your dreams?
With college happening soon, it’s more difficult than I’d like it to be. Instead of opening my own brick and mortar right now, I plan to open a booth in an established shop.
What would you say to young parents about following their passions?
Embrace your passions! Even if you can’t do anything with them now because you’re busy with little ones, keep a journal and make a plan of what you want to do!! Show your children your passions, it will help them in finding their own.
I LOVE the idea of keeping a journal! A passion journal. I think it’s also a great point to model for your kids! They will see mom and dad making their passions a priority and they will be more apt to as well. I think it’s important they see that life isn’t just about making money.
[Tweet “I think it’s important my kids see that life isn’t just about making money.”]
Anything else you’d like to add???
Just that I am incredibly proud of you. The way you are embracing yourself is inspiring!!
Awww Thanks Sarah! Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us!