Why I Started Getting Tattoos in my 40s

Here's why I started getting tattoos in my 40s

here's why I started getting tattoos in my 40s

A few years ago, I got my first tattoo. It was a birthday gift to myself. I cannot remember a time in my adult life when I didn’t want a tattoo. I loved everything about them. Or, I should say, I loved everything about the ones that were done well. The beauty. The color. The artistic expression. The way you learn something about a person by what they choose to have inked on their body. The way you can peek into someone’s heart as they memorialize people and things important to them.

I never desired to ink my body when I was a teenager or young adult. It was only as I grew older and became intrigued by the beautiful artwork I saw on people’s soft frames that I started imagining one for myself. Only when I saw people using their body as a canvas to honor loved ones or ideas they revered, did I start to consider getting a tattoo.

I waited for years, until I had thought long and hard about what I wanted to look at forever on my pink toned flesh. I put off getting a tattoo until I knew in my heart it was right.

I really started coveting tattoos in my 30s. This is when the obsession began to take root. However, I had two little babies in tow as I crossed the threshold into 30 and I just didn’t feel it was right, for them. I worried about what they would say as they got older. I worried about how it would impact them. This was just me. I have no judgment about young moms who are tatted up. In fact, I applaud them. They are not letting worry get the best of them as I did. (Click here to read more about moms with tattoos.)

I was also worried about what my parents would say. I worried they would be disappointed. I worried what judgment people would make about me. It was these worries that kept me out of tattoo parlors in my 30s.

However, a funny thing happens when you enter your 40s. You really just don’t give a f**k what people think anymore. I didn’t care anymore about what my friends and family would say if I got a tattoo. It became about what I would say.

With that being said, there were two people’s reaction that I did care about. I cared about the reaction of my kids. I was concerned about what they would say. What they would think. How they would feel. They were teenagers now and could give their opinion on their mom sporting a tat. Luckily, they gave their blessing. Especially when I told them what I planned to get.

I decided to get my mother’s writing inked on my skin. There was a card I saved that she had written to me when I graduated from grad school; a time when our lives didn’t intersect much because we lived miles apart.

It said, “I wish our days together were more often. Love you, Mom”

This is a sentiment I still relish everyday.

I wish our days together were more often . . .

My mother died when she was 51, just a few short years after she wrote that card. I knew when I rediscovered the card while going through old things, this is what I would permanently etch on my body. Her words. Her writing. Her love. I knew this was something I wanted as part of me forever and I didn’t care what anyone thought.

My ex-husband, not being a tattoo guy, wasn’t thrilled but he gave his blessing knowing how much it meant to me.

I researched tattoo artists and finally got my first tattoo at 44. I actually got two tattoos that day. One on my hip, hidden away.  It is the full sentence she wrote on that card, accompanied by a dragonfly. A creature that lives a short life and makes the most of every moment. A fitting symbol and reminder.

My second tattoo I got that day was on my wrist. It simply said her words, “Love You.” Her writing on my wrist as a daily reminder.

The Giving Keys
My mom’s words in tattoo form

Then, last October, it was time for another one. I got my third tattoo on my ankle.

My mother died from breast cancer. My mother in law and two sisters in law also had breast cancer. Since breast cancer has a genetic component, I became concerned for the health of my daughter. So, I got a tattoo for breast cancer awareness month. To honor my mother’s struggle and as a symbol of hope for my daughter.

Lotus Tattoo
Lotus Tattoo

My third tattoo became a tribute to the connection between my mother and my daughter. Two of my deepest loves that never had a chance to meet.

Tattoo
Lotus Flower Tattoo

I decided to get two pink lotus flowers, a large one for my mother and a small one for my daughter. The color pink representing breast cancer. The lotus, one of my favorite flowers, to symbolize beauty, spirituality, and the ability to rise above the murky depths into wholeness.

Surrounding the flowers is water, waves in my eyes, that represent my love surrounding them both; me being the common link between the two.

It’s a daily reminder of my mother and my daughter. They are with me always.

I have no regrets about my tattoos. None.

Besides being reminders of people I love, there are benefits that have come from getting tattoos in my 40s.

  • It has actually set a good example for my kids. It showed them how to make a thoughtful decision about something that will last forever. I feel like I modeled a responsible way to get a tattoo.
  • My tattoos encourage my kids to embrace individuality and to feel comfortable being themselves. I knew people were going to have a hard time with it. I knew people, friends and family, were going to have an opinion about it. But, I also knew I had to follow my heart. I had to be true to myself. And I always want my kids to feel confident in following their heart.
  • Getting my tattoos has been empowering. It is the ultimate way to express ownership of and pride in my body.
  • My tattoos are a way for me to delineate and honor what is meaningful.

In 2015, tattoos are very common. In fact it’s almost strange to see someone under 30 with no ink. But, even though it is considered more “normal,” there is still judgment attached. Some people still think if you have tattoos, you are unconventional. That somehow, because you made a choice to put permanent artwork on your body, you are less than.

Well guess what? I am still a good person, friend, and daughter; still an awesome mother and wife; and still a person that is kind and works hard, who is afraid of guns, and doesn’t like to play pool.

I am a woman who isn’t timid about expressing herself. A woman who would love if you embraced her, tattoos and all, but won’t lose any sleep if you don’t. A woman who is strong as well as soft. A woman who celebrates uniqueness and stepping out of the box. A woman who loves deeply.

Nothing is different.

My tattoos didn’t change who I am. My tattoos simply reveal who I am.

Salty Inked Kisses,

Karen

For more on tattoos, check out The Tattoo Tourist asking if you can be too young or too old for tattoos? What is a good age to get inked? What do ya think??


27 responses to “Why I Started Getting Tattoos in my 40s”

  1. Love this article! Thank you for sharing your sweet tattoos and the stories behind them. I am endlessly fascinated by what people choose to ink on their skin and why. I think your ink looks lovely and is a fitting memorial to your mother who left you too soon. I’m linking to you in the same article YOU linked too!

    • Awww thank you! I have been meaning to post this for a while and your article motivated me! I agree – I love to hear the stories behind people’s ink. And thank you for the nice comments about my tattoos. One of the best decisions I’ve made. 🙂 xo

  2. Ironically, my mother has tattoos because of her breast cancer. They are just dots, markers for the places of biopsy and removal. They are not pictures or words, they are not colorful, yet they are a reminder to live life to the fullest and to be vigilant, brave and hopeful.

    • I love it Sarah! Yes, that is the beautiful and intriguing thing about tattoos for me, they all tell some sort of story usually with incredible emotion attached. I love your mom’s ink and I’ve never seen it! A great reminder for sure! xoxo

  3. The tattoo of your mom’s writing is the best tribute tattoo that I have ever seen. I can tear up just thinking about it. Of course it because I can relate so well. Again, I love how you share your life in such a thoughtful way! XO
    Shayne

  4. I’ve never considered getting a tattoo, but can totally understand why you would want each of yours. I’m glad that you followed your heart. All of them are beautiful!

    • Thank you Corrine! I think that’s one of the good things about getting older . . . following your heart becomes easier! And thank you for taking time to comment! 🙂

  5. I had a double mastectomy. As part of reconstruction, the doctor tattooed my nipple color. I don’t want a tattoo anywhere else on my body, but it’s sad to hear that people think less of someone because they have a tattoo.

    • I think it’s just human nature, to judge. But, the good news is, I don’t care anymore! Thank you for visiting and for the comment-I can’t imagine a more important tattoo than yours! 🙂

  6. I love your tattoo stories… good for you!!!! I’ve also always found tattoos very attractive and compelling in their meaning…I’ve always wanted one, but have never found a reason or meaning to get one as of yet… my daughter, on the other hand, has many. And I love them all…especially because they all have strong meanings for her.

    • Aww Thank You Karen! I appreciate you reading my story and commenting! Maybe someday you will get one! 😉
      I love that you support your daughter’s ink! 🙂

  7. I love this, the tattoos and the sentiments behind them. My mom died when she was 58 and I miss her every day. I’ve never gotten a tattoo, mostly because I could never decide on what I’d want forever, but I love the idea of a mother’s handwriting. How beautiful and perfect. (also I have a daughter who will never meet my mom either, and I know that ache and sadness.) Very glad to have found your blog.

    • Oh Dana! I am so glad we found each other! We sound like kindred souls! I also know the pain of my children not knowing what a vibrant, funny, wise and special mom I had. And that she never had a chance to read my kids a goodnight story or take them to a movie. Thank you so much for reading and for your sweet comments! Hugs!

  8. Beautiful post! I am a male, so I write from a different perspective, but some of what you wrote resonated with me too. I too have wanted to be tattooed for my whole life, but kept worrying about what others would think, how I would be judged, and whether it fit with my professional image. For me it took until I got into my 60s to finally acknowledge that I wanted to be me, not the person that the rest of the world wanted me to be. I’m about to start on an extensive piece on my back, arms and and chest. I’m exhilarated! Like you, I see my (future) tattoo as an acknowledgement to me that my body is mine, and I am me. It is a wonderful feeling.

    • I love this! Isn’t it freeing to finally give ourselves permission to be who we really are? Good luck with your tattoo-I hope it is everything you want it to be. And thank you for your comment! 🙂

  9. I love your blog about tattoos over age 40. I plan to get one on my 40th birthday this July (God-willing)! I always said that there’s nothing important enough that I would want tattooed on my body, and at that time, in my 20s and 30s, that was true. But turning 40 after all that I’ve been through is empowering and you’re absolutely right…at that age you don’t give 2 sh#ts about what others have to say. Thanks again for the encouraging words!

    • Oh I am excited for you Meredith! And thank you for reading the post and commenting. This is one of my most popular posts because I think women like the idea of finally being liberated and not worrying so much about what other people think! Good luck with your tat!

  10. How cool! My first (and so far only) tat is a dragonfly. Many native tribes believe it to be a symbol of protection. Mine is on my left shoulder.
    Great read! Thank you

  11. Thank you for writing this! I’ve just started preparing for an upcoming event that I’ve been dreaming about attending for years. The idea of getting a small tattoo to commemorate the experience came up, and it seemed like even more fun to not tell my husband and son about it ahead of time, to simply surprise them when I get back! But your point about teaching kids the importance of thinking carefully about big decisions is an excellent one. Thank you for pointing out that this can be a great learning opportunity for the kids!