Do you have a Bucket List?
I know Bucket Lists are all the rage. I have to admit though, I am not a fan. It seems unbelievable that a person who preaches about stepping out of their comfort zone and living life to the fullest would poo-poo Bucket Lists.
Well, believe it.
Bucket Lists are passive.
I know some people like to make Bucket Lists. A list of things they want to do someday.
I believe more in living lists. A list of things to do NOW, each day as we are living. A list of goals and the daily, weekly, and monthly steps that will take us to where we want to be. Not a just a passive list of places to go, but an active list of things to do to get us there.
I don’t have a Bucket List. I don’t subscribe to the idea that my inevitable death should shame me into living a full life. I kind of resent the fact that a Bucket List is promoted as something made by the people stepping out of their comfort zone and seizing life. That if we don’t make a B.L., we are taking life for granted.
There’s too much pressure in life already.
I don’t want to feel stress about checking things off yet another to do list. It would be daunting to feel I had do everything on this list before I croak.
Bucket Lists give too much energy to our society’s idea of “doing.”
We are always doing. We’re so busy doing that we aren’t being. We become more concerned with ticking things off the list than allowing ourselves to appreciate what’s on the list.
Bucket Lists set us up for failure.
Sometimes, we end up putting things on our Bucket List that are so grandiose, we set ourselves up for failure. We hear of THE most incredibly fantastic adventures, and attainable or not, on the list they go. Our list looks awesome! It is full of dozens of amazing undertakings but, we will probably never reach them.
Buckets Lists aren’t always authentic.
Bucket Lists can be disingenuous. Are your Bucket List items really you? Are they things that are true to who you are or are they the latest travel trends or things you saw on a fancy travel blog? Things you feel should be on your list.
Bucket Lists are static.
There are thousands of things I want to do while I’m lucky enough to be on the planet. I am not short on ideas for adventures to enhance my life. But, I don’t want to relegate them to a list. Time and circumstances dictate what I am able to do and at what point. Jobs, children, money, and health are all facts of life that impact what I do. If I have a static list, that doesn’t account for these things, the items on my list, will just sit there, sadly waiting to be robotically marked off.
I don’t want my passions and dreams to become a chore.
We are all people on the move. We are putting our energy into the day-to-day activities of growing our careers, raising our families, and building our lives. But, are we really taking time to LIVE? We get so “busy,” (one of my least favorite words) that we start to treat our passions and dreams like a chore. Something to be checked off.
Now that I’ve been a total buzz kill and dispelled the beauty of the Bucket List, what’s the alternative?
We could use a calendar. We could use a vision board. We could leave sticky notes around our house or on our bathroom mirror with goals, destinations, or intentions we want to reach.
Just please . . . no list!
It is helpful for me in my advanced aged to write things down; or else sadly, I will forget. So, I totally get the whole list thing. But for me, there needs to be a mind shift. My “Bucket List” needs to be spun with a little more positivity, mindfulness, and, intention.
I don’t want to cross things off a list. I want to actively take steps toward goals and adventures that will enhance my life. I want to plan my joy out and do x, y, and z that will lead me to the end result; fulfillment.
I want to live in the moment, take what comes. Not be so focused on the end result that I miss everything along the way.
We could rename it a Living Syllabus. A Thriving Calendar. An Animated Bulletin. A Growing Schedule. Something . . . anything that gives it the energy of living. Not things that are to be checked off before dying.
In the end, what matters is what works for each of us. If having a Bucket List is a workable means to and end for you, then by all means, KEEP IT.
We all need to do what feels right; what fits. As long as it takes us in the direction of our dreams, we are on the right track!
What do you think about Bucket Lists?
Come on, lemme know! (It’s okay if you don’t agree with me.) 🙂
Salty Kisses,
Karen
19 responses to “Why Bucket Lists Don’t Work”
I do agree with you in so many ways, Karen, but I should point out that if a person chooses to creat a BL and then never does anything about it, then it’s really not in the right spirit, because the BL is exactly what you propose: a list of things to accomplish now, because if you put it off now you’re likely to put it off forever. And it most definitely shouldn’t be filled with disingenuous items, because that’s just pretense. Like in my case, I don’t ever plan to jump from a plane and if I do, it won’t be because it was a lifelong dream of mine. The main thing for me though, is to be good and responsible to my family in every possible way, and to someday move out to the coast and surf several times a week no matter what. Such a thing would be great right now, since some problem with my foot had me grounded from running, but I would be fine with swimming if there was just an ocean for me to swim in.
So what you suggest sounds to me like re-framing the BL, and taking the morbid aspect out of it, which I think is a great idea; taking it seriously, which people should definitely do, but not so seriously that they don’t take the time to enjoy their lives in the process.
But I wonder too if all of these BL people take their priorities into account when putting items on the list — like I mentioned my family and that’s important to me because that is part of who I am and who I want to be, as well as what I want to accomplish long-term; I have to take care of them and have them along for the ride or there’s no point to it, it wouldn’t be fulfilling in the least. So I believe that no amount of adventure is going to satisfy someone who hasn’t even carefully considered themselves. I have a sibling like that, one who leaves others suffering in their wake and moves through life with no clear conception of who they are and who they want to be.
Thats why I’m not a BL person. I want to make a goal that’s attainable in a realistic timeframe. A one-year goal, a five-year goal, etc. . . . and to live my life by strong principles that guide me as I travel the road from here to there. That way, whether I hit or miss my target, I can be assured that I didn’t compromise myself or others in the process.
Yes Rob-I agree! The BL becomes the exact opposite of what it was set to accomplish. I love how you say, “and to live my life by strong principles that guide me as I travel the road from here to there. That way, whether I hit or miss my target, I can be assured that I didn’t compromise myself or others in the process.”
Beautiful!!!
Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment!
And darn, I hope your foot can heal soon!
🙂
Hi Karen! Thanks for your refreshing view of the old “Bucket List” idea. I agree that if it is only to satisfy the fact that you’ve never gotten around to truly living a full and happy life, then it can be a depressing list for sure. Why wait. Besides, don’t the lessons on SMART goals remind us that we need to put time frames on them or else they seldom get done at all. Oh, and instead of a “bucket list” I recently came up with a F^%K it list on my blog where I let go of things I’m ready to let go of. But it’s the same as with the bucket list in that we need to do it now–not wait. Thanks for the great reminders! ~Kathy
Oh Kathy! I love the idea of a F*** It List! And yes . . . as I’m learning with everything in life, why wait??? The time is now! Thank you so much for stopping by and taking time to comment!!
Adds the F*** it list!!! I LOVE THAT!!!
YES! 🙂
Nope, don’t like bucket lists, but I do like your term “living syllabus.” I also agree that everyone’s so busy busy these days… But what it is they’re actually doing, I’m sometimes not sure.
Anita
Yes Anita! What is everyone so “busy” doing?? Thank you for your comment. I appreciate you spending some time here! 🙂
I’ve never been great at sticking to any kind of list but it’s fun to think about. I’m a more “in the moment” type of person. I’ve always found that setting an intention in my mind works for me has worked for me although I’m not obsessive or strict about it. I go with the flow.
Yes Rebecca! I think going with the flow is a good life philosophy! Thank you for your comment! 🙂
Oh my gosh, I couldn’t agree more! I always hate bucket lists and always tried to avoid reading them. I’d rather just do it! I’m not much a list person to begin with. Great post thank you!
Aww Thank you Carolann! I appreciate you taking time to stop by and leave a comment! 🙂
Hallelujah! Thought I was the only person to feel that way. When I even HEAR the term ‘bucket list’ I want to scream. I mean just get out and DO IT – whatever ‘it’ is! It was simply called a ‘To Do’ list before the BL brigade came along. That is self-explanatory. But Bucket List? Come on – it takes some working out at first. To Do lists don’t generally get talked about either – you just DO the stuff on them. I recently overheard a woman telling someone that ‘delivering a baby’ was on her ‘bucket list’. I mean how the hec do you tick that I one off?!!!! If the stuff on your To Do list relies on fate (like you need someone to go into labor in a place where there is no help but YOU), then I don’t think you are serious about achievement. Thanks for this post – i’s brilliant.
Thanks Gilly! I thought I was going to get a lot of heat for this post but people seem to agree with us. And, I think people who have crazy bucket lists are just trying to keep up with the Jonses . . . like the woman who wants to deliver a baby! If that’s the case she should have become a midwife!!!
Exactly! I got so annoyed with Bucket Lists a couple of weeks ago, I took a picture of a bucket and did a sarcastic caption and posted it on Facebook. Didn’t get one like!!!!! So I took it down. I have just tweeted about your blog post and put the picture with it – thanks for the opportunity to put the picture out there again with a bit more confidence. You were bolder than me when you wrote the post! I am going to repost my pic on Facebook and put a link to your blog – safety in numbers!
Ah yes Gilly, safety in numbers! I can’t wait to check it out!!
Karen,
I know this was published in June. It’s still very relevant. I love the idea of a life syllabus & would love to see a blog about that alone. It’s like going to life class & getting a syllabus on how to live life. That said, I subscribe to the idea of a Life Theme. Documenting your life theme, whatever that is. Ensure all things you do align with your life theme. To me goals are for sales people and I’m not selling life, I’m living life, but that’s my approach to my life right now. All things must adhere to my life theme.
Love your work and your blog. Grateful for a kindred mindset.
Thank you so much for the support Kelly! I really appreciate it! And that would be a good blog premise . . . hmmmmmm! 🙂 Food for thought! Thanks for visiting!
[…] stimulating. Grimy. Aggressive. I have no desire EVER to be in Times Square on NYE. If this is a bucket list item for you, I don’t know what to say. It sounds like an absolute nightmare to me, BUT you are […]