How To Start Believing In Yourself


In order to live the best life possible, we need to trust and believe in ourselves. Here's how to start if you don't know how.

Do You Believe In Yourself?

How good are you at trusting yourself? If you’re not sure, ask yourself some questions:

  • Do you know how to graciously accept a compliment? (Or do you think you don’t deserve it?)
  • Are you able to own your mistakes and apologize without worrying it will define who you are? (Or do you think making mistakes means you’re a failure?)
  • Do you take risks? (Or do you play it safe for fear of failing?)
  • Are you comfortable going against the popular opinion to be true to yourself? (Or are you afraid if you say what you really think you’ll be judged?)
  • Are you comfortable being who you really are? (Or are you ashamed?)

If you answered ‘No’ to the first parts of these questions, I am guessing you have a hard time believing in yourself.

Believing that you are capable. That you are special. That you are worthy.

Let me let you in on a little secret. You can’t go through this life not trusting and believing in yourself. (Well, you can, but it will really kinda suck.)

If you want to make the most of your one precious life, you MUST start believing in yourself.

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Having confidence, and trusting ourselves is what gives us the courage to be who we are, to try new things, and to squeeze every last drop of goodness out of this life.

If we go along, not believing in our abilities, our character, and our worth, we will never develop what it takes to live the juiciest most fabulous life possible.

Sometimes, because of our upbringing or life experiences, we find it hard to trust ourselves. Trust our feelings. Our bodies. Our minds. Our capabilities.

Reasons We May Have A Hard Time Believing In Ourselves

  • Maybe we grew up in an abusive home and feelings were a sign of weakness.
  • Maybe we had an eating disorder.
  • Maybe we lived with an addict and we learned to change our feelings to meet the needs of others.
  • Maybe we were told we were fat or ugly or dumb.
  • Maybe we were abandoned in one way or another and started to believe that if only we were good enough, they never would have left.
  • Maybe through tragedy we lost people we loved and it just hurt too much to trust our heart again.
  • And maybe, we doubt ourselves simply because of the mere fact we are human.

There are many reasons we learn not to trust ourselves.

But now is the time to change that. Now is the time to believe that YOU DESERVE THE BEST LIFE POSSIBLE AND YOU HAVE THE CAPABILITIES TO ACHIEVE IT!

(Yes, all caps, because I’m yelling, sweetly!)  🙂

Now is the time to believe your heart when it softly encourages you to be true to who you are.

Now is the time to believe your mind when it says you are capable of meeting life’s challenges.

And now is the time to believe and trust that you are perfect just the way you are.

You might be asking, “But how? How can I trust and believe in myself when I don’t know how?”

Well I’m gonna tell ya how to start!

How To Start Believing In Yourself 

You can start to believe in yourself –

  1. By surrounding yourself ONLY with people who have your best interest at heart. The one’s who KNOW how bad ass you are (and you are.) The one’s who accept you despite your jiggly thighs, your 10-year-old car, and your annoying habit of grinding your teeth at night. (Oh-maybe that’s just me.) Bottom line – you can only start to believe in yourself when you hang around with other people who believe in you, too.
  2. By getting out of your box. You are going to have to take a step toward the things you say you want so you can prove to yourself that you can in fact do it. Go on . . . take a step . . . even a baby one.
  3. By understanding that whatever happened to you in your past, is in your past. Whatever happened or was “done” to you had NOTHING to do with your worth. All it had to do with was the fact that the people who were supposed to love you the most, let you down. Big time. And you’re allowed to be pissed. But, you are not allowed to let that anger keep you from moving forward and being the best damn you you can be. Because you are fucking awesome and it’s time you started believing it!
  4. And the most important thing you’re going to need to do to start trusting yourself is to stop being so unkind to yourself. Stop telling yourself the lies that you somehow felt the need to pack in your suitcase long ago. I am here to tell you to unpack that shit and let it go. You are a Goddess (or maybe a God). 🙂 You are amazing. You deserve it all. So stop thinking that you don’t.

Life is painfully short my friends.

I want your one precious life to be magical.

I want you to trust who you are and feel confident in letting her (him) shine.

I want you to have the courage to chase your dreams.

I want you to be deliriously happy, not every second because that’s not realistic, but I want you to be more happy than you’re not.

And I want you to really believe you deserve it.

Because you do.

Do you need help silencing your inner critic and just going for it in life? Sign up for my free 6day ECourse and put an end to self doubt so you can live like you mean it. Sign up here! It’s free!

 

 

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12 responses to “How To Start Believing In Yourself”

  1. So many of us start out as fierce little girls. Life beats that out of a lot of us, but you’re right, I think we can reclaim our inner little tigers!

  2. Great post Karen! I can certainly identify with some of that negative inner self-talk. Recently someone I admire said to me: Nobody is going to watch out for you. Only you can watch out for you. Made a big impact on my attitude and self-confidence – in a positive way!

    • Thanks Terri! You are so right-we need to be our won biggest advocate. Many of my readers struggle with that inner critic so I think it helps to know we aren’t alone. Thanks for stopping by!

  3. I know I am unbelievably fortunate and lucky because I can’t remember a time when I thought I was stoppable. But when people ask me for my biggest and best tip it’s one you’ve given above: we become like those we surround ourselves with. Yes it has become trite 🙂 but we are the sum of those with whom we spend the most time.

    • So true Carla! It took me a while to realize I don’t have to spend time with people who don’t have my best interest at heart. Duh! I love that you have always believed in yourself, somehow I knew that from your blog! 🙂 Many of my readers struggle with self confidence and it just makes me so sad. Thanks for stopping by! xoxo

  4. Thanks, Karen. Sometimes when I’m working on my novel, I have a hard time believing in myself. But I must.

    • Sometimes we forget! It’s amazing how many of my readers struggle with this. It just makes me so sad. I am impressed you’re writing a novel Beth! You inspire me! xoxo

  5. I enjoyed your post. Lots of poignant messages here. Don’t know how this happened, but I have more self-confidence than anyone has a right to have, and I’m grateful. Brenda

    • That’s great Brenda! I have friends like that – who don’t have to work at it – they just always believe in themselves! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  6. Hi, Karen

    We lost our believe in ourselves because we are humans, our past failure, and take in the things people said about us. “now” this is the moment, we must trust ourselves again. Just like you said, this kind of living is so stuck and miserable.

    Surrounding ourselves with positive people will help. Most importantly, greater work must be done from inside out. To find your own identity (you are unique and created with skill to shine in the world) and claim it deeply in your heart.

    Love the post and will share

    Stella Chiu