To My Beautiful Step-Mom:

Parenting is tough.

And then there’s step parenting.

Welcoming a child who isn’t your own into your family gives tough a whole new meaning.

And that’s exactly what you did.

I know it hasn’t always been easy.

I know it hurts you that I have never called you mom and this makes me sad.

Because of the close bond with my own mom, it just never felt quite right.

I realize that over 30 years of being the runner-up certainly takes it’s toll.

I wish there was a better name than “step-mom” because you’re so much more than that. When you entered my life, it was a step for us for sure, but over the years we have grown to love each other; to appreciate each other.

I feel we have grown to be friends.

I don’t think I say thank you very often.

Sure, for gifts and sweet things you say, but not for the big stuff. I don’t think I thank you often enough for the all heavy lifting you’ve done.

It’s time to honor all you do and all you’ve been.

Tips For Step-Moms

Here are a few of the things I wish to thank you for; things that anyone who is a step-parent should pay attention to:

1. Thank you for loving my dad. You love him fiercely and this is the greatest gift you could ever give me.
2. Thank you for never bad mouthing my mom. Ever.
3. Thank you for always including me into the fold, just like I was one of your own.
4. When I was young, thank you for showing up at all my birthdays and milestones on my dad’s arm with a smile. When I know now, this had to be one of the most difficult things to do.
5. Thank you for always telling me you love me. Although we show love differently, you more vigorously, me more subdued, I cherish the love we have for each other.
6. Thank you for never trying to stand in the way of my relationship with my dad.
7. Even though I am different in many ways, thank you for always trying to make me feel the same; feel included.
8. While growing up, thank you for never trying to step in and be my mom.
9. Being a mother myself, I understand what a huge endeavor it is to bring a child into your family that isn’t yours and then try to love and parent him or her. You did it well. Thank you!
10. When I visited as a child, you encouraged your youngest to play with me, to make room for me in her bed, and to accept me. You treated us like twins and that made my life as a child so much easier. (Although it probably pissed her off at the time, but thank you anyway.) 😉
11. Although I know it hurt you, thank you for never forcing me to call you mom.
12. Thank you for all the beautiful memories you have given all your children and grandchildren.
13. Thank you for providing such a loving example of what it means to be a mom.

On Mother’s Day you always take a back seat to my feelings. You put my emotions over the loss of my mom before any wishes you may have.

After being a parent myself for more than 20 years, I understand what a loving step-mom you have been.

The way you chose to “be” in my life over the past 30+ years is an example for other moms walking the same potentially rocky road.

Being a step-mom can be a thankless role.

Today, and every day, I want you to know you are loved. You are valued. And I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Karen