Read the inspiring story of how this super hero realized life is way too short to just be “ok.”

Shannon: An East Coast mom of two and all around creative chick who is having fun finding her voice.

K:  Let me tell you a bit about why I wanted to interview you. This topic is very personal for me. I have happily been a stay home mom for 16 years. However, I have only recently given myself permission to pursue my passions. I felt for a long time that my family’s needs should come first. Since my kids are almost adults now, my “job” is in transition. I am trying to fill the void I feel as they grow up and need me “less.” What has surprised me is that at first, I didn’t even know what to fill the void with. If I’m not a busy mom . . . what am I? I started this blog to explore how I, as well as others, bring joy into our lives, how we explore our purpose and passions, and how we are chasing our dreams. I am finding that after being a SAHM for so long, and focusing on my family’s needs, while trying to fulfill my desire to be a good mom, I lost sight of what my own dreams were. I needed to discover, outside of having a healthy, happy family, what is my heart’s desire?

I wanted to talk to you because I admire you as a woman and as a mom and I am curious how others are navigating this time in their lives. My goal is for this to be a regular piece on the blog and see if there are any common threads. I feel it will inspire me as I traverse this time in my life and I hope that it will encourage others as well.

 

K: What do you feel like your passions are?  Have you always known this?

~My passion is being creative. Whether that is building something with wood or decorating a room in my home. I am always in some sort of creative process. I have always been creative or into some form of art since I was a kid but, I feel I truly realized this more as an adult. Cooking is another creative process that I truly enjoy. I wasn’t born a cook but with years of practice, some help from moms and cooking shows, I have definitely honed my craft. I love to experiment and create my own recipes. So this past year (in my spare time) I wrote my own mini cookbook. I wanted to share my recipes with my friends and family and this was the best way to do just that. It has been well received and I hope to write another one. I’d like to one day sell my cookbook for charity and give the proceeds to a mental health charity. Just another thing to put on the to do list.

K: Have you always been able to focus on these throughout your life?  If so, how.  If not, why not?

~Not to the depths that I would have always liked. Working, taking care of kids, and always putting everyone else first, I set my passions aside. However, I would turn a simple birthday present, painting a room, or even creating a meal into a creative process just to pacify myself.

K: I love how you found little ways to nurture that creative part of yourself.

K: What do you feel like your purpose is?  Do your passions correlate with this?

~Purpose, that’s a hard one. I guess being present; being constantly present in people’s lives; to be there to help, to listen or even sometimes do some heavy lifting. My purpose is to give to my family, my friends, and my community, no matter how small, my contribution. That’s what is great about being a creative person, it seeps into all facets of my life and is something that I draw on for everything. I always say, “I’m no genius. I’m just clever.”

K: That is an awesome saying!  I am sure having that creative gene, there are always plenty of ways for you to help.

K: Have you been a stay home or working mom?  How do you think this has affected your ability to follow your passions?

~I worked part-time when my kids were babies and then became a stay at home mom when my son was one. I went back and forth between staying home and working part-time once they were both in school full-time. If my passions took a back seat before, it wasn’t because of my kids, it was because at the time, I didn’t have the support of my spouse. I work from home now and have a very supportive partner which makes a world of difference.

K: How have you been able to find time for yourself while raising kids?  Do you allow yourself ‘me’ time?  If so, what do you do with your “me” time? If not, why do you think this is?

~I didn’t always have “me’ time. Going to the store by myself was “me” time. I was made to feel guilty for wanting/having “me” time. Not any more. I play tennis. I go out with my friends. My fiancé and I have date night. The kids are our #1 priority but, I feel it’s important for them to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them. I even make them come support me at my tennis matches. I support them in the things they do and they are going to support me in the things that I do.

K: I love that you have your kids come watch your matches. You are teaching them such a valuable lesson . . . that’s what you do when you love someone, you support them! 

K: How has your time for yourself and your outlook about your passions, your purpose, and or your dreams changed as your kids got older?  As you got older?

~As my kids have grown, as I have grown, my hobbies have become my passions. My passions have become my life’s work and my life’s work will hopefully be my legacy.

K: This is amazing: [Tweet “hobbies=passions=life’s work=legacy.”] I might have to steal that! 😉

K: What do you want to be when you grow up?  😉

An actor or a singer.

“Life is a journey” is a phrase I think most of us use. Well, I intend to be forever traversing!  I’m not sure where I will be or what I will be doing in the future. But, I’m sure it will be learning something new and creating something  awesome!

K: Generally, are you happy?  Why or why not would you say?

~I am more than generally happy. Life wasn’t always so. For many years, I was content to be just ok. I have since learned that life is way too short to be just ok. I am blessed with two great kids, a wonderful family, and a great fiance’. But, as much as I am blessed, I also work at it. It sounds funny to say, I work at being happy. But, I work out (tennis), because it makes me happy; I work on my brain (therapy), because it makes me happy (and helps this female crazy brain); I work on my relationships because it makes me happy to make the effort and have it be reciprocated. So yes, I work on my happy and happy to do so.

K: I agree 100%! [Tweet “Life is WAY too short to just be ok. “]That’s one of the reasons I started this blog. People need to get the message that the time is now to live a large life! I think it is fantastic when you say, “I work on my happy and happy to do so.” I think being happy is definitely a choice and sometimes does take work.

K: Talk to me about guilt.

~I’ve learned in therapy that guilt is something that we ourselves bring into a situation. It doesn’t exist there independently. It’s an unproductive learned behavior that is passed down from generation to generation. I am trying to take guilt out of my vocab. It’s not easy especially when people around you thrive on other’s guilt. I remind myself that I am a good person. I am not malicious. I always try my best and that’s all I can do.

K: You are so right. Guilt is one of those things we have a choice about. I think it’s hard, especially for moms, not to take on the guilt.

K: If you could go back and do anything differently would you?  If so what would you change?

~I love my life now. No matter how hard things have been or what mistakes I have made, they got me here. The one regret that I do have though is not making myself a priority. I concentrated on everyone else’s happiness and wellbeing and had nothing left for myself. I had no voice, I only listened.

K: I am so glad you are finding your voice!

K: What are your dreams?

~Right now I dream of a clean and organized house! As for big dreams? Happy healthy kids. Happy healthy relationships in my life with family and friends. Continue to hone my craft and eventually make a name for myself. I am a very creative person, always have been. I am always on the hunt for something different something new. I love learning new things and diving into the creative process. I usually have 3 or 4 projects going on at the same time. I love working with my hands; taking “ingredients,” raw and simple, and turning them into something unique and beautiful. Three years ago my sister asked me, “What is your dream job? What ever it is, do that!.”  After some thought, I knew the answer was working with furniture. So, with my creative mind, and a twist of practicality, I began to build things for my house. I took discarded and reclaimed material and turned them into pieces of furniture. I needed a dining table, so I built one. I needed a headboard, so I built one. I needed a sideboard, so I built one. I now build things for other people. Some are of my own design and some are customized for a specific client. No matter the conception, each piece is personal. Each piece is my art.  I’m self taught and still learning and that’s the way I like it.

K: How difficult is it, if it is at all, to go after your dreams?

~With a great support system anything is possible.

 

K: What would you say to young mothers about following their own passions?

~It’s a hard balance when you have a family but, it is possible. Always take time for yourself and your passions and live in the moment. Sometimes when we do find time for ourselves and our passions we end up feeling guilty for it. Don’t! The kids will be fine, the laundry will get done, etc. Being a happy fulfilled mom/wife will make you a better mom/wife.

K: AMEN sister!

K: Is there anything else you’d like to add???

~As women I think we try to be super heroes; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound while folding laundry, feeding the kids, and filing our taxes, which honestly is an unattainable lifestyle. No person can go it alone. So don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t make you less of a mom/wife/woman. Even super heroes sometimes need a side kick. [Tweet “So don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t make you less of a mom/wife/woman. Even super heroes sometimes need a side kick.”]

K: Well said! 

Thank you so much for taking time to share your heart with us!