“I just wanted to be sure of you.” Piglet


I have had cause to stop and meditate on my relationships lately. Connections with friends and family. These ties that bind us.  The way we navigate these ties and how we determine when to pull tighter and when to loosen and unbind.

Recently I was hurt emotionally…deep…to my core.  So painful that my first reaction was to pull all my limbs into my strong and sturdy shell and never venture out again.  Yet, after time and the beginning of healing conversation I have been entertaining the idea of sticking my toes and yes neck out into the world again.

Relationships are what makes this world sweet.  There are many amazing things in this life and if we didn’t have people to share them with it would be merely another checkmark on a bucket list.

I have been considering how relationships are like waves.

Some relationships, like waves, are soft and mushy.  These are with people that are sensitive and caring always giving a soft shoulder if needed.  These waves and relationships are forgiving.  A place you can go to with anything and you will be understood and listened to.  They are safe.  Easy going.  There is no fear of being hurt.

Waves, like some people, can be inconsistent.  You are never quite sure what you are going to get.  They can’t always be counted on.  Sometimes they are awesome…you never knew you could have so much fun.  But other times they are hard to figure out or worse yet you don’t even know where they are.  You just cannot rely on an inconsistent wave or an inconsistent relationship.

Some relationships are gentle.  As are the tiny waves of summer that would never hurt a soul.

There is hollow. The waves and relationships that can seem superficial and empty. Not because there is no depth. But because they never let you in.

Then there are the unpredictable waves and relationships.  You never know what to expect and must always have your guard up and sometimes feel fear.  At times it seems safe yet at the last minute the wave jacks up and throws you over the falls.  These are the scariest waves and connections because they are hard to judge.  They present themselves one way but turn out totally different.  Trust is void when things are unpredictable.

Then there are the barrels.  Something I have yet to experience in the ocean.  Yet, I relate these to those relationships that are all about the fun.  It’s for the thrill of the ride.  Maybe not much depth or substance but when you’re together and you make it out safe you fist pump the air and yell “Ya-hoo”.

There are often times when waves and friendships are peaky.  Filled with high highs and low lows.

And of course there are the point breaks. The peelers.  The consistent friends and waves.  The ones that are always there for you the same way they were last week, last month and last year. Reliable. Dependable. The ones you can count on.  The ones you are sure of.

After my reflections over the past couple weeks I realized it is all about trust. About being sure…sure of myself and my relationships.

That the people I choose to have in my life can be trusted with my heart.

That they are who they present themselves to be.

That I don’t have to walk on eggshells around them and try to gauge what their mood is.

Confident that I can be my true self…I can be authentic. That I can say what I feel or think and it is ok.

Trust that no one is perfect, including myself.

Trust that I know when it is time to pull back from a relationship or let it go

Sure that forgiveness will come.

In relationships as in surfing it is about choosing the situations we want to put ourselves into.  Sometimes we know there is potential for injury. We just ultimately need to decide how much we are willing to risk.  We can always play it safe but then there will never be room for much depth or growth.

And it is about being sure.  Sure of myself.

And my cherished, dependable “peelers”…who simply reach out to grab my hand…so I am sure of them.

Salty Kisses,

Karen


13 responses to ““I just wanted to be sure of you.” Piglet”

  1. Salty Kisses, this post has hit the core of all humanity. Hooray, for putting it in simple, and yet profound words. We have all experienced, laughter, disappointment, betrayal, and walking on egg shells. However, the ability to forgive is at the root of moving forward in order to survive the
    storms in our lives, and exhale when the rainbow makes life worth while.
    Love, NANI

  2. i love reading your posts and seeing you make connections between surfing and everything in our lives. Winnie the Pooh or AA Milne quotes are so endearing and seeing one of them here put a smile on my face. Your words and thoughts really touch me and make me think about myself and my connection to the ocean and to living. Just wanted you to know that this “peeler” will always have her hand out for you… just like yours has always been there for me to grab in moments I’ve needed it most. love you!

  3. I have been through all the relationship waves you describe. The metaphors are exact in how you depict the various levels. At 64 I’ve finally made peace with who I am. Unfortunately I’ve had to sever negative relationships which tended to bring me down. I no longer want to expend the time I have left trying to suppress or modify myself to conform with others’ opinions. Better we all be happy in relationships that work best for us. Life is short…make every moment count toward lasting happiness…not perfect, but lasting. hugs… 🙂

  4. Your visit to my blog brought me to you! Thank you for your visit, and especially for trusting enough to venture out again. I know relationships and love the wave analogy–and there are times when you need to just duck your head and take care of yourself. But then comes the need to move out again. I love the Piglet wisdom as well. A few other quotes I enjoy came to mind. From Grandma Moses: “Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.” And from Frederick Wilcox: “Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” I am glad you are jumping into the game after such a hurt–gives us all hope.