It is important we give ourselves permission to have fun.

“Fun is good.” Dr. Seuss

Two years ago I was on a quest to surf every Wednesday for a year. A friend and I subsequently started a blog called Wahine Wednesdays to document our journey. Literally it meant Woman Wednesdays.

On one Wahine Wednesday, early in our journey, I recall a surf session that was unlike any other.  After paddling out, I noticed right away, there was a large amount of girls and women in the water. Now I didn’t count but I think in our spot, the wahines outnumbered the guys, and that rarely happens. Also, these were not wahines that we knew.

Someone joked, “Oh, they heard it was Wahine Wednesday.” I smiled and pondered this thought. I didn’t really think that was the case. I think they were just enjoying the last days of summer and soaking in the warm sunshine. But, what a cool thought! The idea that other women surfers heard about Wahine Wednesday and wanted to take part.

After marinating on this idea, what made me smile wasn’t necessarily that people wanted to participate or join the Wahine Wednesday effort, although that’s pretty awesome too. The cool thing to me was thinking that these women were giving themselves permission to have fun. That they were using WW as a catalyst to do something exclusively for them. WW was allowing them to do something that was for the sole purpose of making themselves happy. This was simply splendid to me.

There are many things that keep us as women, especially if we’re mothers or natural caretakers, from putting ourselves, and our fun, on the to-do list. We are conditioned to take care of everything and everyone else first. We are superwomen after all. We are told we can have it all.  We are told we can do it all, and we can, but at what price?  The price of our own joy.

On our quest to have it all and be the absolute best mom, wife, professional, friend, daughter, sister, etc., we can get depleted and lose sight of that little part of ourselves that holds our joy.  Our joy is the least demanding part of ourselves, so the needyness of all the other areas of our life start to take precedence. Our cup of joy becomes empty. Neglecting ourselves and our cup becomes a habit.

[Tweet “Make sure you aren’t trying to do it all at the price of your own joy. “]

What Keeps Us From Our Joy?

The problem when we get into this habit is that we forget it is even a possibility to have fun. We start feeling guilty for even thinking about doing something for our own pleasure.

• Maybe we suffer from the martyr syndrome where our ego gets something out of sacrificing our needs for others and then reminding everyone how much we gave up for them. Maybe we suffer from incredible guilt.
• Maybe we think it is selfish to even consider putting our joy first.
• Maybe we don’t feel like we deserve to have fun.
• Maybe we have just packed our days so full of “stuff” we simply have no time for ourselves and our own playfulness.

This reminds me of the scene in the movie, A Christmas Story where Ralphie is feeling sorry for his mother. He says, “My mother has not had a hot meal for herself in 15 years.” This is because she is continually taking care of the needs of her family before her own.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe as women and moms we need to make sure our families are well taken care of and receive the best we have to offer. However, I also believe we need to be able to fill our own cups with fun and joy so we can live with a smile on our face and have plenty to give to others.

Women need to give themselves authorization to ask, “What would fill my cup today?” Along with the permission to do it, free from guilt.

For me, surfing fills my cup. But it could be anything – whatever makes you happy!

It could be: rollerblading, cooking, yoga, doing something crafty, making balloon animals, hip hop, karaoke, taking a nap, getting a manicure, motorcycle riding, taking a pottery class, doing something that scares you, learning how to pole dance, reading, or sword fighting. It could be ANYTHING!!! The sky is the limit.

“You’ve got to do things that make you happy. As women, we tend to give away a lot. We take care of a lot of people, and we can’t forget to take care of ourselves.”  Jennifer Lopez

J-Lo has way more on her plate than I do, but she is right. When I take time to do something I love, something that brings me joy and belly laughs, I am able to transfer this light to others.  Ironically, I am a BETTER wife, mom, daughter, friend, etc., when I DO take the time to fill my cup. When I have joy!

[Tweet “I am a BETTER mom when I take the time for myself!”]

If you’d like to be part of a supportive environment of women, keeping their cups filled, nurturing their passions and chasing their dreams – come join the One Salty Kiss Facebook Group – Women Charging Life.