Making personal change is an intimate and powerful endeavor. If you decide there is something in your life or in your way of behaving that needs to change, I applaud you for having the courage to admit it. But you must know, it might not be an easy road.
And by personal change I’m not just talking about eating fewer carbs or making an effort to read more.
I’m talking about making a decision that you know needs to be made, for your own happiness, but won’t be easy. Something that you feel called to do but you know will be a challenge. Something that takes fearlessness and grit.
I’m talking about:
- Losing 100 lbs.
- Going back to school so you can get out of a job you hate.
- Taking a risk and trying to make a living by following your passion.
- I’m talking about deciding to go to AA.
- Going into therapy.
- Starting a new relationship or ending an old one.
- Moving to a new town, state, or country to follow a dream.
I’m talking about the big stuff.
Making major personal change takes knowing yourself, listening to yourself, and believing you are worth something more, something better. Sadly, not all of us believe this. Not everyone believes they have what it takes or even deserve to live the life of their dreams. So they settle. They stay stagnant. They deny that they have a void that yearns to be filled.
And with good reason. Making personal change takes balls. It takes bravery and self-confidence to make a life altering change. One that you know in your heart will be for the best but scares the shit out of you at the same time.
Below are 5 unnerving truths about making personal change:
1. It is scary as F*ck.
Making a real change, even a positive one, a change that will alter the course of your life, is really freaking scary. Choosing to change the status quo can take you so far out of your comfort zone you may not even see the edges. And that’s a frightening place to be.
2. You might upset some people.
There will be people in your life who don’t want you to make a change. They want you to stay the same so they can stay the same. This way everyone just stays where they are. This might be comfortable and familiar but making change is the only way you can grow. You will need to be prepared that not everyone in your life will be as ready for your change as you are.
3. It isn’t easy.
Good grief change is hard! Because whatever you are doing is new, you feel like a fish out of water. You have no frame of reference for the journey you are on and everything feels different. Some things even feel terrifying. This is a test. The fact that change isn’t easy challenges you to find out how bad you want it.
4. You will doubt yourself.
Since you are forging a new path you don’t know where you are going. Everything feels new and you don’t know what the heck you’re doing. This will feel threatening and you will start to second guess yourself. You will start to question if you really are making a good decision. You will wonder if maybe you should stay in your safe, stale comfort zone. (If you want to be the best version of yourself, the answer is no.)
5. You will want to fall back into your old way of being.
Your comfort zone is just that – comfortable. Staying the same is safe but it isn’t very satisfying. If you want to live your best life, it’s better to make a commitment to yourself and decide that you have what it takes to overcome whatever challenges arise. If you don’t make this promise to yourself up front, you will be tempted to fall back into old habits .
Creating a new you by making a change takes effort and sometimes it seems easier to just keep things as they are. But is it easier? It may seem easier to stay in a job you hate, or not work to lose weight, or not change your drinking habits, but in the long run, staying here will just leave you unsatisfied.
It isn’t easier to live a life that leaves you unhappy.
Making personal change takes courage. It takes tenacity and work. And it takes loving yourself so much that you refuse to settle for status quo.
Don’t you deserve it?
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