Your Courage is Greater Than Your Fear


Fear

What scares you?
Last week, when talking about what holds us back from reaching our true potential, one thing that kept coming up was fear.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of not being liked.

Fear of not having enough money.

Fear of taking risks.

Fear of being alone.

Fear of failure.

Fear of intimacy.

Fear of  being embarrassed.

Fear of making the wrong decision.

Fear of being exposed.

Fear of losing control.

Fear of not being loved.

You name it, there are a lot of fears out there that hold us back. Fears that keep us from getting what we want. That keep us small.

Fears hold us back. Our fears keep us from getting what we want Click To Tweet

Fear ultimately is a good thing. Fear (the fight or flight response) was put inside us as a handy defense mechanism. If while on safari a tiger started chasing us, fear would tell us to run like hell.

Fear keeps us alive and out of danger.

The problem is, fear doesn’t know when to relax. It doesn’t know the difference between swimming with sharks and giving a speech. It can’t differentiate between skydiving or going on a first date. Whether there is an actual threat or not, our fear’s response is the same. It keeps us from moving forward.

The key is knowing when we are actually in harm’s way and when our mind is just trying to keep us small.

After reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic, which I HIGHLY recommend, I found we need to embrace and settle in with our fear instead of trying to suppress it. We don’t need to deny or get rid of our fear. We need to recognize and acknowledge it and let it know it has no power over our day-to-day activities.

Our fear is more than welcome to get involved when a creepy person is giving off threatening vibes, but until then, it must remain silent.

Shark

For me, as a surfer, one of my greatest fears is sharks.

A few summers ago, a school of great white sharks took up residence in one of our local beaches.

This scared the hell out of me.

Being someone who surfs multiple times a week, this was a real problem for me. It ultimately didn’t make me surf any less, but it definitely made me second guess myself.

This is an extreme example, in our daily lives we don’t normally have to deal with sharks.

But, it made me wonder, how do we let fear stop us from living our lives?

How can we make sure fear is not keeping us from living fully?

I am not going to let the sharks keep me from surfing.

I’m going to be aware of them.

I’m going to acknowledge my fear of them and my feelings about them.

I’m going to make informed decisions about them.

(I’m hopefully not going to see them.)

But, I am not going to let my fear of sharks keep me from living my life and doing what I love.

When we let internal fears control our decisions, it keeps us from living a full life. It keeps us from being all we can be.

There is a simple process to go through when you notice your fears holding you back.

  • First acknowledge your fear. Recognize you are feeling anxious about something and figure out why.
  • Then ask, is it a realistic fear? Is there a real threat? As with the sharks, yes they are there, it’s a reality.
  • Then ask, is it a rational fear? Well, with the sharks that’s a tough one . . . yes they are there, but if I make smart decisions about when and where I surf, it’s not a rational fear that I will be eaten.

There are areas in life where I have let my fear keep me from doing things.

This only led to regret.

I’ve decided, I’d rather face fear than regret.

I'd rather face fear than regret. Click To Tweet

Being vulnerable. taking risks. Failing. These are all things I can feel fearful of.

By giving these fears power, by letting them keep me from (fill in the blank), I let them keep me small.

(Read here about a time I was really afraid.)

There has been a level of fear with pretty much every decision I have made with this blog. Starting the blog, joining a writer’s group, speaking, doing vlogs, submitting my writing to external sources, broadcasting on Periscope, laying a foundation to start a business . . . these things all scared me.

But, I recognized that if I wanted to take a stab at my dreams, the fear is going to be there so I will just have to bring it along for the ride.

Each time I made a little step in a brave direction; each time I felt afraid and took the step anyway, it took me one step closer to my dreams.

Once we make the decision to move with our fear, we discover we can still do things when we are afraid. What we are afraid of doesn’t stop us. Our mind stops us.

Each step we take in fear takes us one step closer to the end game.

Once we decide to make a move in spite of fear, we will be successful Click To Tweet

I am a firm believer that taking courageous steps, even if they are the wrong steps, builds our character and leads us one step closer to reaching our fullest potential.

Fear Is A Liar
Fear Is A Liar

Fear lies to is. It tells us there is something stronger and braver than we are and we are too small to handle it.

This of course isn’t true. Unless of course a grizzly bear is involved.

We are greater than our fears. We are more courageous than our fears. We just need to believe it.

You are more courageous than your fears Click To Tweet

The only way we will truly believe it is by taking those little hesitant steps with bravery. By doing exactly the things we are afraid to do. And realizing, our dreams and our courage are so much bigger than our fear.

Then will we see how truly powerful and courageous we are.

How do you handle your fear?

I’d love to keep the conversation going.

Salty kisses

Karen

Photos: Dollar Photo Club

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13 responses to “Your Courage is Greater Than Your Fear”

  1. Karen,

    Thank you for adding your voice to the conversation about fear. You and I must have been on the same wavelength this week because I recently had fear as a topic for one of my posts: bit.ly/punchfear. So many of the fears you listed at the beginning stop us from reaching our potential. Personally, I am still learning how to strive while scared.

    Best,

    Ashley

    • Ashley-thank you so much for reading and for your comment. I read your post and loved your quote from The War of Art – that book inspires me when I am afraid. (And I always love me some Eleanor Roosevelt!) Moving forward despite our fear makes us powerful! Once we realize we can do it, we start to understand how truly courageous we are. The more we “strive while scared”-the better we get at it. But, it doesn’t make it any easier. At least not for me! 🙂

  2. Loved this post & loved what you had to say about fear even more…
    Dealing with anxiety, fear resonates quite well with me.
    But recognizing what it is & learning how to push through is definitely a lesson well learned.

    • Thank you so much for your comment!! It’s hard sometimes to keep our fears in perspective. But, the older I get, the more I listen to that feeling of regret when I DON’T do something because of fear. Like I said in the post-I’d rather feel fear than regret. Thanks again for stopping by! 🙂