Confidence

Confidence is something we all have to varying degrees.

It’s definitely something we need if we are going to make the most of life.

But, we all have those times when our confidence is just in the toilet.

Come on, you know what I’m talking about.

Lack of confidence, self-doubt, second guessing ourselves, negative messages we play in our head . . . whatever you want to call it, it gets in our way.

It keeps us from living that big, fat, juicy life we deserve. This self-doubt and lack of confidence can keep us small.

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There is no room for self-doubt in surfing. Just as there is no room for it in your life.

As a surfer, if I am questioning my abilities, I am taking myself out of the present moment. When I am not focused and confident, I am setting myself up to either (a) miss the wave or (b) get hurt.

Neither of which are very good.

The same is true in life. If we let our lack of confidence rule our mind and heart, we miss out.

When we let opportunities go by because we aren’t sure of ourselves, this leads to regret. And regret can hurt.

In surfing, as in life, you need to believe that you have the capacity to be successful.  You need to trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. That you are primed and ready to achieve your goal.

[Tweet “In surfing, as in life, you need to believe that you have the capacity to be successful.”]

Boosting Self Confidence

Here are some tactics I use in my surfing and in my life to minimize self-doubt and boost my confidence:

-Believe it.

First and foremost, even if you are just learning something, believe that you have the capability to do it. You must believe it. And if you don’t, pretend you do. At least believe that you have the power to give it one heck of a try.

You can do anything you put your heart and mind to. Carissa Moore

-Remember you are awesome.

Deep down you know that. Maybe deep, deep down for some of us. We were all created to be awesome. Some of us have just let the negative voices in our mind convince us otherwise. We all have the same potential for greatness. Don’t forget it!

We’re all meant to live big and great lives but not enough people connect with that and understand or believe it. Kelly Slater

-Be ready for the mistakes.

We all have wipe outs in life. Mistakes are inevitable. Just remember, you can never win if you don’t risk losing. And when you do lose, that is when you learn. Don’t miss the lesson.

[Tweet “You can never win if you don’t risk losing.”]

When you lose, that’s where you find things you haven’t learned yet. Kelly Slater

-Eliminate comparisons.

When I am surfing and I start to compare myself to other surfers in the water, this only increases my self-doubt. There will always be people who are better, smoother, more talented surfers than I am. But, no one surfs just like me-with my old school Hawaiian stance and ability for epic wipe outs. 🙂

There’s something special and unique about you. Don’t try to compare yourself to anyone else. Don’t try to be someone else. I think being healthy and strong is the most beautiful thing. Carissa Moore

-Don’t give up.

You are not a quitter. When you quit, this reinforces your self-doubt. So unless you are in danger. Do. Not. Quit. Keep working toward your goal. Keep Paddling.

Everyone gets caught inside when surfing. You have 2 options. Give up or paddle outside. Life is the same. Keep paddling!
Gerry Lopez

You fall off the horse and you get back on. Bethany Hamilton

(By the way, this last quote is from a woman who had her arm bitten off by a shark and almost died. She then went on to become a world-renowned professional surfer. So, she knows a thing or two about the importance of not quitting.)

-Keep your biggest fans close.

These are the people who will point out your badassery when you are doubting it. Surround yourself with the people who build you up.

[Tweet “Surround yourself with the people who build you up.”]

-Change your thoughts.

When you start to notice your mind sending negative messages. Put a stop it. Tell yourself, “Self, I know what you’re doing. I am on to you. I know you are trying to keep me small but I refuse to let you. I am a badass and you know it.” Just make that your mantra when you notice yourself in a negative self talk downward spiral. Repeat after me, “I am a badass!” 🙂

[Tweet “Repeat after me, “I am a badass!” :)”]

-Be kind to yourself.

When you start to feel discouraged, think of what you would you tell your best friend. Then tell yourself that.

-Get out of your comfort zone. 

The more you step out of your box and do the things that scare you a little, the more confident you will become. Trust me on this. If you don’t believe me, read this. If you’re not sure how to start getting out of your comfort zone, read this.

-Talk yourself through it.

When you start to doubt yourself, literally talk yourself out of it. Find out what you need to say to yourself to boost your confidence. Try different things to see what works.

For example, when I surf, the ratio of men to women is probably on average, 25 to 1 on a day with good waves. And some men, not all, but some, make a judgment about women who surf. They think we aren’t as good. That we won’t be able to catch the wave. This can cause me to doubt my abilities. When I find myself in a lineup with this vibe (which isn’t often) I put my game face on and I talk myself through catching waves.

I will be paddling for the same wave as one or more (a lot of them younger) guys and this is literally what I say in my head:

*Warning! I have a terrible trucker’s mouth*

As I’m paddling, I say to myself: “Oh no, not today mother f**kers. This is my wave!!!!!”

(Sorry-just keepin’ it real.) I talk myself aggressively through catching that wave. And I am almost always successful.

Find out what works for you. Figure out what you need to say in your mind to feel confident. And then say it!

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And when I tell you to go, you gotta go. You gotta paddle your little heart out. You can’t hesitate, you can’t pull back, you can’t hold back. No fear. Alright?  Keala Kennely – Blue Crush

I’m telling you my friend, you gotta go. You gotta give this life a chance to make you deliriously happy. And the only way it can do that is if you eliminate the negative messages you tell yourself. You must believe in yourself. No one else can do it for you.

If you need help putting an end to self-doubt, sign up for my free 6 Day Email Course. Kick that inner critic to the curb and start living a life you love.

Sign up here! It’s free!

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If you need more tips on how to boost your confidence and get out of your own way so you can live a life you love, sign up below for my free monthly newsletter.