Are You Missing Out On The Gems Of Life?


A photo of a Seal Beach seagull taken on my son's 18th birthday.
A Seal Beach seagull 

Last week my 19-year-old son and his friend dragged themselves out of bed at 6:45 a.m. to come surf with me. Those of you with teenagers understand the magnitude of this feat.

There are few things I adore more than being in the ocean with my children.  To watch them surf, for them to share my passion with me . . . this is simply sublime!!!

A while back, a tragedy struck in our small beach town when our friend’s son was killed in a wildfire.  He was a firefighter and just a few years older than my son, with his whole life ahead of him. Just as I see my son’s life now.

It is a poignant realization that every day matters.  Every sweet simple little moment in those days matter.

This of course is blaring at me because my children will be leaving the nest soon. My daughter is a senior in high school and my son, in his second year in college. I try not to get bogged down with the impending loss.  I try not to dwell on the emptiness I am already starting to feel.

I instead look at the simple joyful moments of each day.

I love the time my kids and I spend together. The laughs we share. The conversations we have. The advice they ask of me. The pride I feel when I see what amazing young adults they are becoming. The warm hugs they continue to give.

I think back to that day in the water with my son.  I recall watching him as he caught waves and would return to the line up with a smile on his face.  I felt so peaceful. So warm inside. So happy.  I remember thinking to myself . . . what an amazing day!

This is such a simple memory but it leaves a huge impression on my heart.

I am acutely aware that time is precious.

I concentrate on appreciating the moment.  Not looking to the future . . . I will keep that a mystery.  Not second guessing what happened in the past.   But instead, putting my energy into being present. Appreciating each second and what it brings.

I spent so much of my life and of my children’s young life being “busy.”  Before I really “got it.” Before I really understood what is truly important.

When my kids were younger, I would fill my time with tasks and to do-s. We all do this to an extent. It makes us feel as if we’re accomplishing things; so we aren’t merely idle.  We feel guilty if we aren’t getting things done. We show our worth by how much we do and how busy we are.

But are we really living?

I think of the times I didn’t sit on the floor with my toddlers and play because I had to do this chore or run that errand.

Or the times I didn’t get together with a friend because of something that was ‘more important.’

Or the times I didn’t return one of my sibling’s calls because I was so ‘busy’ I forgot.

Or the times I didn’t fully listen to my husband or my kids when they were trying to tell me something important because I was taking care of this or that.

Or the times I wasn’t engaged because I was simply too tired from being so ‘busy.’

I missed out on little gems of life while I was busy being busy.

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I will make a conscious effort to be present . . . in every little moment.  And it does have to be a conscious effort.  It is easy to fall into the trap of feeling like we ‘need’ to do this or that.  But, all we really ‘need’ to do is be there.

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Time is fleeting.  These sweet simple moments in our lives are what we will remember.  They are what fill up our heart.  They are what make a life.

Salty Kisses,

Karen


8 responses to “Are You Missing Out On The Gems Of Life?”

  1. So true, Karen. WIth one in college already, I try my very best to be in the moment. I’m a lot more conscious of what I’m saying, doing, choosing. And I’m definitely more weepy! Hugs!

  2. Thank you for the invitation to be more present in my life. You are so right. I’m going to go down that list your made at the end and try to do each one in one form or another. Thoughtful.

    • Thank you for your comments Meg! I really appreciate you taking tome to read my post. I love your words “…the invitation to be more present in life.” Just love it! 🙂

  3. You’re so right. It is the sweet simple moments that make up a life. My husband unexpectedly died on Christmas Day four years ago, and his son subsequently went off the deep end… In essence, I lost my whole family that day, so it’s those sweet times I remember.
    Brenda

    • Oh Brenda! I cannot imagine the depths of your pain. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and his son. Life can be so damn hard sometimes. Sending Hugs!! xx

  4. So true. We all have these grounding moments which make us reassess our priorities, I just wish my resolve to enjoy the precious moments would last more than a few days before I get swept up in the to do list again.

    • Agreed Nerys! I find when something tragic happens, living mindfully comes easy, but after time I slide back into taking life for granted. Thank you for stopping by and for your comments!