We All Need A Place That Feels Like Home

We all need a place that feels like home so we are free to be ourselves.

We all need a place that feels like home so we are free to be ourselves.

Belonging is a basic need. It fends off the abyss of loneliness which can slowly erode a person’s happiness.  For humans, it is essential we belong. To a family. To a group. To a community. To each other.  To the universe.

This connection is an important part of why I surf.  To remind me we are all in this crazy life together.

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I love surfing in different spots. Specifically, San Onofre. San O is an amazing place. The best day surfing anywhere else can never duplicate the aloha vibe I feel at San O.  It’s as if I have gone back in time to a less hurried and frantic pace. A place where friends are made easily.  Where it’s common to see people playing ukuleles, cracking a cold beer, and firing up the BarB in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.  I feel peaceful and content there and it is always hard to leave.

However, for as much as I love San O, there is nothing like coming home . . . surfing my home break, with my homies at the Seal Beach River Jetty.  My home turf if you will.  Here I have gained the regard of other surfers and have earned the right to respectfully paddle out to the peak and immediately take off on a wave.  I don’t always have to feel things out or ease into the line up where I would in other places.  I am free to be myself.

At The River, I am comfortable because it is familiar.  I know the break.  I am accustomed to the waves, the currents, the conditions.  I know where to sit to be closest to the peak.  Here, in this place, I have formed a bond with the ocean.

But it is about more than just the place.  It is about the people.  It is about the amazing group of friends I do this with.  My soul surf sisters and brothers.

It is about the new relationships I have developed because of surfing.  People I never would have met on land.  After years of paddling for the same waves, cheering each other on, sharing stories of surf and of our lives on the sand, we have formed bonds.  I would call them my friends.

Now, I am all for challenging myself, in and out of the water.  For surfing new and different breaks.  Trying new things.  Putting myself in fresh and possibly uncomfortable situations (hello learning how to shoot a shotgun).  In this way, going to San O, or any less familiar surf break, makes me a better surfer and a better person.  It stretches me.

But there is nothing like coming home.  Coming home to the bonds we have formed and the security of the familiar.  These relationships we have built somehow make living in this chaotic world a bit easier.  Just like at the bar Cheers . . . Sometimes you just wanna go where everybody knows your name.

We all need to have at least one place that feels like home.  A place that feels safe.  Where the people smile when they see you.  Where you feel confident.  You feel accepted.  Where you can relax and be yourself.

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A place where you feel loved.

Everyone needs a place like this. I hope you’ve found yours.

Salty Kisses,

Karen

If you’d like to be a part of a community where you can feel safe and free to be yourself  join the One Salty Kiss Facebook Group – Women Charging Life.

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6 responses to “We All Need A Place That Feels Like Home”

  1. I love this and I know exactly what you mean. San O is such an incredible place to surf and such a treat. I breathe in every moment that I am there and it is so hard to say good bye especially when I know my next trip will be far down the road. The river has the warm water I love, but it also its’ environmental additions that are not always welcoming. However you called it when you said the river is more than just a place. It is about being able to surf with each other mixed among familiar faces or cast of characters who always have a standing reservation at the river. I guess this is what we mean when we say,”We need some River Love.”

    Thank you for creating Wahine Wednesday. Your blog allows me to connect with myself as a surfer and with who I am. I love reading all my Wahine’s blogs,

  2. The River definitely is a special place Candace. I think also it’s because that’s where it all started for us as surfers! Thank you so much for your comment. It makes me happy that you like the blog and it makes me happier that you are my surf sister! Luv u!! Karen

  3. K, I remember being with you when you paddled out at the River for the very first time. I had been there all of one or two times myself. We were so used to our short little paddle out at the SB Pier, and I remember how far away from shore we felt! Now, all these years later, it truly is our “home”, complete with inside jokes, nicknames, and hundreds of great memories. Even though San O is where is started for me so long ago, the River is where my heart is. Thanks for a great post! And you better get ready, I hear that the lefts are cookin’!

  4. Oh how I miss San Onofre and the beaches in California in general, but it is the coming home and community that helped us decide to live in North Carolina. Great piece 🙂